Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The pai chart is look at the proportions of Australian mail or female in different age teams did routine physical activity in 2010.
Moreover, the percentage of men and women are do the regular working. That was start in 15 to 24 up to 52.8 and 47.7 then second one is 25 to 34 decrased on 42.2. next one age 44 is 52.5 because it is increased.
whenever, second last age mentioned into 55 that was also down in 45.1 and continued to 64 in this age difference of 9 years so percentage change in only 8 %, about the last one 65 of over this is similar and nothing any change.
generally, men or women changes into much time period, that was proportion look at the after counting. then mentioned to any chart. every year change the ratio according to city.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you attempt to describe the data, the information is presented in a fragmented and often inaccurate manner. You fail to clearly identify the main trends or make meaningful comparisons between the genders and age groups. The data points mentioned are often confusing or lack context, and the overall summary is underdeveloped. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview of the main trends and support your points with accurate data from the chart, while ensuring the response meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks a logical structure. The paragraphs are poorly defined, and the progression of ideas is disjointed. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'generally', but they are used incorrectly or do not help the flow of the text. The sentences often feel like a list of disconnected observations rather than a cohesive report. To improve, focus on grouping related information together and using transition words more effectively to guide the reader through your analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and contains frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'pai chart' for 'bar chart', 'mail' for 'male', and 'teams' for 'groups'. These errors, combined with the misuse of terminology, make it difficult to follow your description of the data. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to express ideas clearly. To improve, focus on learning the correct terminology for describing charts and graphs, and practice using more precise vocabulary to describe trends and proportions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'percentage of men and women are do', and incorrect sentence structures, such as 'The pai chart is look at'. Many sentences are fragmented or lack a clear subject and verb. There is very little evidence of complex sentence structures. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and work on correcting common errors in verb tense and agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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