Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

THE PROVIDED BAR CHART DEPICTS THE PROPORTION OF AUSTRALIAN MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE INVOLVED IN REGULAR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, BASED ON DIFFETENT AGE GROUP IN 2010.

OVERALL, ALMOST IN ALL AGE GROUP MEN SURPASSED WOMEN IN PHYSICAL ACTIVITY EXCEPT THE AGE GROUP OF 15 TO 24. THE FIGURES ARE ALMOST RELATIVELY IDENTICAL BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE IN THE AGE GROUP OF 65 AND OVER.

TO BEGIN WITH, HAVING STARTED AT 52.8% IN THE AGE GROUP OF 15 TO 24, WOMEN, SHOWED A SLIGHT DECLINE BY 10.6% BETWEEN THE AGE OF 25 TO 34. IN CONTRAST, MEN STOOD AT 47.7% WHICH WAS LOWER THAN WOMEN, BEFORE RISING TO 48.9%, IN THE SIMILAR AGE GROUPS. IN THE AGE GROUP OF 35 TO 44, AND 45 TO 54, FEMALE FALL AT 39.5% BEFORE RISING TO 43.1, WHILE MEN CONTINUED TO RISE FROM 52.5% TO 53.3%, RESPECTIVELY.

BY THE AGE OF 55 TO 64, MEN RECORDED A SLIGHT DECLINE AT 53%, WHILE WOMEN CLIMBED WITH AN INCLINE OF 2% AS COMPARED TO PREVIOUS GROUP. PEOPLE AGED BETWEEN 65 AND OVER RECORDED ALMOST SIMILAR PERCENTAGE MEN AT 47.1, AND WOMEN AT 46.7.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the key comparison between genders across age groups. However, the reporting of data is occasionally imprecise or confusing. For example, stating 'female fall at 39.5%' is grammatically awkward and lacks clarity regarding the trend. Additionally, the comparison for the 65 and over group is accurate, but the description of the 35-54 age range could be more clearly structured to highlight the contrast between the genders more effectively. Overall, you have selected the main features well, but the precision of data reporting needs improvement to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'To begin with', and 'While' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing is a bit disjointed. The flow between sentences within the third paragraph is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'before rising to 43.1, while men continued to rise from 52.5% to 53.3%, respectively'. The use of 'respectively' here is misused as it does not clearly map to the preceding clauses. Improving the logical flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'proportion', 'surpassed', and 'decline'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'almost in all age group' (should be 'in almost all age groups') and 'figures are almost relatively identical' (redundant). The spelling error 'DIFFETENT' in the introduction is a minor slip, but the overall control of vocabulary is limited by these inaccuracies. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for trends and ensuring that collocations are natural and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'female fall at 39.5%' contains a subject-verb agreement error and an awkward verb choice. There are also issues with preposition usage and article omission, such as 'in the age group of 65 and over'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the data, they are frequent enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would be beneficial.

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