Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates australian men and women from different stages in their life who did regular physical activities in 2010 .
Overall , it is clear that people from several age were measured regular physical activity and 15 to 24 were recorded as highest , while 65 and over age group people doesn't participated much among the other groups .
In Male , 15 to 24 age group people were dominated 52.8% in regular physical activity , while 25 to 44 age group recorded the lowest participation rate 39.5% as compared to other aged people . The difference between 23 to 34 and 45 to 54 showed 1.2% , also 55 to 64 and 65 and over interestingly showed almost similar 1.65 % difference .
While female , 45 to 54 aged group depict 53.3 which was the highest participation rate among the other groups , whereas 55 to 64 ratio was 53% that was so close to the highest doing group . However , 35 to 44 aged group showed the lowest participation rates in regular physical activity , while 25 to 34 , 55 and 64 aged groups interested in regular physical activity below half century . Lastly , 65 and over groups people were almost same as male 46.7%
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the bar chart, identifying key trends for both genders. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, you mention the 15-24 age group as the highest for men, but the data shows 15-24 at 52.8% and 65+ at 46.7%, which is accurate, but your description of the 25-44 group as the lowest is confusingly phrased. Additionally, the data points for women are sometimes misstated or lack clarity, such as the reference to 'below half century'. While you have selected key features, the reporting is occasionally inaccurate or lacks the precision required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In Male' and 'While female' are grammatically incorrect and disrupt the flow. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly when comparing age groups. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between sentences could be smoother. To improve, focus on using accurate linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate to convey the basic information, but it is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'dominated 52.8%' and 'depict 53.3'. The phrase 'below half century' is an unnatural way to describe percentages. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the presence of errors in word choice prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and comparative language would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., '65 and over age group people doesn't participated'), incorrect prepositions, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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