Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the bar chart shows the percentage of australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity there age starts from 15 years and goes to 65 years over.
Inaddition the man of the age group 15 to 24 has the highest percentages and the female age group of 45 to 54 has the higest percentages moreover graph showes the the lowest percentages of men is age group of 35 to 44 only as 39.5 percentage but anotherhand lowest percentage of female is above the men they have 47.1 the age group of 15 to 24 when men started doing physical activity then graph down little in the age of 25 to 34 there is only 42.42 people are active in the activities and the man graph is decreases till the age group of 35 to 44 it goes to 39.5 furthermore after the age of 45 to 54 the graph rise and touch the precentage of 43.1 then it rise only and the age group of 65 and over the percentages people become more active and they are same as the women percentages little down but same but in women case they have a peek in the age of 45 to 54 the percentage is 53.3 agter that there is a drop in age 55 to 64 a little drop of .3 and the age to 65 and over there percentage drop and come on the 47.1 which is a huge drop
overall the graph showes that there are men age of 15 to 24 has more engaged and the female age of 45 to 54 are more engaged
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the bar chart, including the age ranges and the trends for both genders. However, the analysis is somewhat repetitive and lacks a clear, professional structure. While you identified the highest and lowest points, the description of the trends is occasionally confusing, such as the attempt to describe the fluctuations in the 25-34 and 35-44 age groups. To improve, ensure you group data logically (e.g., by gender or by comparing age groups) rather than listing every minor fluctuation, which makes the report feel like a list rather than a summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. While you use some cohesive devices like 'In addition', 'moreover', and 'furthermore', they are often used mechanically or incorrectly. The lack of sentence variety and the run-on nature of the sentences hinder the flow. To reach a higher band, you should organize your response into a clear introduction, a body paragraph for men, a body paragraph for women, and a concluding summary. Using punctuation correctly to separate distinct ideas is essential for coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'percentage' and 'graph' without much variation. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'Inaddition', 'higest', 'showes', 'peek', and 'agter'. The phrasing is often awkward, such as 'the man of the age group' instead of 'men in the age group'. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing data, such as 'proportion', 'fluctuated', 'peaked', and 'declined', and ensure you proofread for basic spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the man... has', 'graph showes'), missing articles, and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'the man graph is decreases'). The sentence structures are largely simple or poorly constructed compound sentences. There is a lack of complex structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent, particularly the lack of full stops to separate independent clauses. Focusing on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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