Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of men and women in different age groups across Australia in 2010 doing physical activity.
Overall, the females have the higher percentage throughout the different age groups except only one.
In 15 to 24 age groups the mens has the higher percentage that is 52.8% while the women has 47.7%. Similarly, in 35 to 44 age groups the men percentage has gradually decreased up to 39.5% while the women percentage is rose up to 52.5%.
From 25 to 65 and over age groups the men percentage has been decreased compared to women. In 65 and over age groups the percentage of men was slightly less that is 46.7% compared to women that is 47.1% which is only 1% less than women.
The highest percentage where the women does physical activity was in age group 45 to 54 that is 53.3% which is the highest among all the other age groups.And the highest percentage where men does physical activity was in age groups 15 to 24 that is 52.8%.
As shown in the bar chart throughout the different age groups women had been actively engaged in physical activity rather than men.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview and identifies key features such as the general trend of women participating more in physical activity. You successfully selected and reported on the main data points, including the highest percentages for both genders. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by inaccuracies in data interpretation; for instance, you state that the 65 and over group difference is 'only 1% less', but the data shows a difference of 0.4%. Additionally, the comparison between age groups could be more structured to ensure all parts of the task are fully developed. Despite these minor issues, the main trends are clearly communicated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. The progression of ideas is generally clear, though the transition between sentences can occasionally feel mechanical. You use some cohesive devices like 'Similarly' and 'As shown in the bar chart', which help guide the reader. However, the referencing is sometimes slightly repetitive, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the data more effectively—perhaps by comparing age groups side-by-side rather than jumping between them. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'percentage', and 'actively engaged'. However, there are some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the men percentage has gradually decreased' (should be 'the percentage of men') and 'the women percentage is rose up' (should be 'the percentage of women rose'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more varied and accurate terminology to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'a significant proportion'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'the females have', 'the mens has', 'the women percentage is rose'). These errors are persistent throughout the text. While you attempt complex structures, the control over them is inconsistent. To improve, focus on basic grammatical accuracy, specifically ensuring that nouns and verbs agree and that articles are used correctly before nouns. Reducing these frequent errors will significantly improve the readability and professionalism of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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