Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Australian male and female in various age groups who participated in physical exercise in 2010.
Overall, it can be seen that, the male ratio was highest in the beginning of the age group. However in the end of age it deceased slightly. In addition, the middle aged women recorded the lowest figure in activity.
To begin with, the proportion of youngster whose age was between 15 and 24 were accounted for 52.8%. 42.2% men took part which age was 25 to 34. but 35 to 45 age group recorded the lowest figure stood at 39.5% and then the proportion increases in rest of the group ages43.1% for those males age from 45 to 54, 45.1% for 55 to 64 and 46.7& whose age was over 65 .
47.7% ladies joined and that age were around 15 to 24. However this figure grew gradually for those whose age were 25 to 34 accounted for 48.9%. 35 to 44 age group proportion was 52.5% and it was third largest group. Moreover the first largest women group stood at 53.3. 53% and 47.1% recorded for those whose age 55 to 64 and 65 and over respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main features and making relevant comparisons. You successfully highlighted the trends for both genders across the age groups. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped; while you mention the male trend and the lowest female figure, a more comprehensive summary would contrast the overall participation levels between genders more clearly. Some data points are presented as a list, which lacks analytical depth. To improve, ensure that comparisons are more explicit, such as noting that women generally had higher participation rates in the older age brackets compared to men, rather than just listing the percentages.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'In addition', and 'To begin with' to structure the response. However, the cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the third and fourth paragraphs where the flow between sentences feels disjointed. The transition between the data points for different age groups could be smoother. Improving the use of linking phrases to connect the data points rather than just stating them sequentially would enhance the overall flow and coherence of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'lowest figure' and 'proportion' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'youngster whose age was between' and 'in the end of age'. While the meaning is generally clear, the vocabulary does not demonstrate a wide range or sophisticated control. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'a significant majority', or 'a marginal decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Examples include 'the male ratio was highest in the beginning of the age group', '42.2% men took part which age was 25 to 34', and '46.7& whose age was over 65'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of decimals and percentages. While the errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct relative clause usage would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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