Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of Aussies men's and women's of different ages groups. and demonstrates that which age of Aussies do regular physical activities in twenty ten.
Overall, the physical activities done by most of women in Australia. from the age of teenage to 25 the men are doing most of the physical activities. but after that age it decreased speedily at the age of 35-44. but at the age of 45-54 the percentage grow steadily. and the physical work by women's low from men's ate the age of teenage but after that it increased significantly.
from the age of fifteen to 24 the men are 55.8 percent while the female 47.7 but on the age of 25-34 the men are 42.2 and the women are 48.9 percent. and then the male percentage become decreased to 39.5 and female 52.2. after that the men percentage are under 40, and the women are up from 50 percent.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends, such as the higher participation of men in the youngest age group and the shift toward women in older groups. However, the summary is hindered by inaccurate reporting of data. For instance, you state that after the age of 25, participation 'decreased speedily' for men, but the data shows a more nuanced pattern. Furthermore, the phrasing 'Aussies men's and women's' is informal and imprecise. To improve, ensure you accurately transcribe the figures provided in the chart and use more formal, objective language to describe the trends rather than relying on subjective descriptors like 'speedily'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical flow is frequently interrupted by poor sentence construction and punctuation errors. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often misused, such as starting sentences with 'but' or 'and' repeatedly, which creates a disjointed reading experience. The referencing is also unclear at times, making it difficult to track which group is being discussed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words like 'conversely', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect ideas more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'doing' and 'work', which are not suitable for describing statistical data. There are also issues with word formation, such as 'Aussies men's and women's' and 'women's low from men's'. The use of 'Aussies' is too informal for an Academic Task 1 response. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary such as 'participation rates', 'proportion', 'fluctuated', and 'surpassed' to describe the data points and trends more professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the men percentage are under 40'), incorrect pluralization, and sentence fragments. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'demonstrates that which age of Aussies do regular physical activities'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with many sentences starting with lowercase letters or ending abruptly. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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