Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men and women of distinct ages in Australia engaged in physical activities on daily bases in the year 2010. At a glance, 45 to 54 age of women conducting the highest physical activity among all age groups.

To commence with, both the genders age of 15 to 24 accounted for 52.8% in men and 47.7% in women. While, men engaged in daily physical activity significantly declined with age to 39.5% from 42.2% at age of 35 to 44. In contrast women among all age group showed a dramatic incline and peaked at 53.3 starting from 47.7 till age 45 to 54. Moreover, age group of 55 to 64 were men conducting 45.1% and 53% of women are doing physical activity. In contrast, oldest age group of age 65+ were both are performing equivalent activity under 48%.

To conclude with, women among all age group showed the upward trend while men proportion of physical activity was fluctuating for the entire year of 2010.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main features of the bar chart and provided relevant comparisons between genders and age groups. You highlighted the peak activity levels and noted the general trends. However, the response contains some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you stated that men's activity declined from 42.2% to 39.5% between ages 35-44, but the data for the 15-24 group was 52.8%. Furthermore, the description of the trends is slightly confusing, particularly the claim that women's activity showed a 'dramatic incline' when the data shows more nuanced fluctuations. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurately transcribed and that your summary of trends is supported by the figures provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organized into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'While', and 'In contrast' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'While, men engaged in daily physical activity...' uses a comma incorrectly after the conjunction, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'both are performing equivalent activity', which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'engaged', 'fluctuating', and 'upward trend'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations. For example, 'conducting the highest physical activity' is unnatural; 'reporting the highest levels of physical activity' would be more appropriate. You also use 'incline' where 'increase' or 'rise' would be more standard. There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'both the genders age of 15 to 24', which is grammatically clunky. Expanding your repertoire of academic collocations will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'age of 15 to 24'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'age group of 55 to 64 were men conducting'), and awkward sentence construction. The use of articles is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing data will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.