Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chart below illustrates the proportion of men and women in different age groups residing in Australia who performed regular exercises in 2010.

Overall, the female counterpart superseded the male gender with the highest score in age group between 45 and 54 while the male gender scored the least in age groups between 35 to 44.

On the one hand, the male side recorded highest percentage of physical exercise between the ages of 15 and 24 and this was the highest record among all age groups.

On the other hand, the age of 65 and above had an average score depicting significant physical activities in elderly compared to ages between 35 and 54 among adults.

The female gender's physical activity peaked at 35 to 64 years and trends downward at 65 years and above but nevertheless, females still maintain the highest projection and the most active gender in Australia in the year 2010.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the chart, such as the peak for men (15-24) and the general trend for women. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For instance, the statement that the 'female counterpart superseded the male gender' is vague, and the description of the 65+ age group is confusingly phrased. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific data points (percentages) to support your comparisons. The summary is present, but the lack of clear, data-driven comparisons between the two genders across all age groups limits the depth of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the logical progression within the paragraphs is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as the sentence regarding the 65+ age group, which makes the comparison difficult to follow. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the logical connection between the data points would enhance the overall coherence of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances of unnatural word choice. Phrases like 'female counterpart superseded the male gender' and 'male side recorded' are slightly awkward in this context. You attempt to use some descriptive language ('peaked', 'trends downward'), which is good, but the overall range is limited. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends and data, such as 'proportion', 'percentage', or 'fluctuated', and ensure that your collocations are natural and appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'the age of 65 and above had an average score depicting significant physical activities in elderly'. This sentence is grammatically flawed and confusing. Additionally, there are minor issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of nouns will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.