Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided bar graph dipicts the informaiton about physical exercises that did by male and female in different age groups in 2010 Australia.The data was compiled in percentage.
Overall,it can be clearly seen that the popularity of exercise was in peak in males in the age of teenage.Whereas, in the age of 35 to 44 Females were more attentive regarding their physique.
After analysing the data , it can observed in the ratio of mens were steadily declined after teenage in 15 to 24 the ratio was 52.8% however it declined in the young age 25 to 34 it plummet around 12.6% after ownwards when they became elder citizen it decreased again by 4%.While, the ratio increase little bit after five years near by 4%.The ratio was almost similar in the ago 55 ownwards roughly 45.5%.
furhtermore , they females started with 47% however , after that it surged dramatacally.While, from the the ago of 35 to 54 they was on peak approximately 53.7% in the end the ratio of make and female were familiar.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a summary of the main features and makes some comparisons, such as noting the peak in teenage males and the trend for females. However, the analysis is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, the description of the data for males (e.g., 'it plummet around 12.6%') is difficult to follow and does not accurately reflect the trends shown in the chart. Furthermore, the final comparison stating that the ratios of males and females were 'familiar' is unclear and lacks precision. To improve, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that comparisons between groups are clearly articulated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by unclear phrasing and awkward transitions. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall' and 'Furthermore', they are often applied incorrectly or in a way that does not enhance the flow of ideas. The referencing is sometimes confusing, particularly in the third paragraph where the sequence of age groups and percentages becomes muddled. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help to improve the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and contains several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'dipicts' for 'depicts', 'informaiton', 'mens', and 'ago' instead of 'age'. There is an attempt to use descriptive language like 'surged dramatically', but these are often misused or lack precision. The range of vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but the frequent spelling errors and incorrect word forms hinder the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on accurate spelling and using more precise terminology for describing trends would significantly improve this score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the ratio of mens were'), incorrect prepositions, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'they females started with 47%'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence structure prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement will be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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