Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The vertical bar graph illustrates the percentage of different age groups of males and females who did exercise on daily basis during the time period of 2010 in Australia.
Overall, all age groups of women did more physical exercise as compared to men, whereas males had slightly lower percentage than females, but both men and women did same number of exercise in their old age in comparison to young age.
To start with, Australian women age group 35 to 64 did daily physical exercise about 53 percent, while Australian men from 15 to 24 age, and 55 to 64, 65 and over covered around 46 to 52 percent in regular physical activity during 2010.
In addition to, women from 15 to 24, 25 to 34, and 65 and over did workout approximately 47 percent respectively. Males did less exercise as compared to females aging from 25 to 54 which was nearly 42 percent.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a summary of the main features, but the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. While you identify the general trend that women participated more in physical activity, the specific data points are confusing. For example, stating that women aged 35-64 exercised at 53 percent is a generalization that ignores the specific variations shown in the chart. Furthermore, the comparison between age groups is somewhat muddled, and some figures appear to be misread or poorly synthesized. To improve, ensure you select the most significant data points (the highest and lowest) and present them clearly without over-generalizing, which leads to a loss of precision.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For instance, 'In addition to,' is used incorrectly as a sentence starter without a following noun phrase. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly when moving between age groups. While there is an overall attempt at logical sequencing, the lack of precise referencing and the awkward transitions between sentences hinder the flow of information. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in their correct grammatical context would improve the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You rely heavily on phrases like 'did exercise' and 'did workout,' which are somewhat informal and lack variety. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'did same number of exercise,' which should be 'participated in the same level of physical activity.' To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise, academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'proportion,' 'participation rates,' 'fluctuated,' or 'remained consistent.' Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the trends more effectively and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'Australian women age group 35 to 64 did daily physical exercise about 53 percent' is grammatically incomplete and lacks necessary prepositions. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'during the time period of 2010'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction, particularly the correct use of prepositions and verb forms, will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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