Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates, the percentile of different ages men and women who perform physical activity regularly in Australia in the year 2010.
Overall, the men are less active in all groups as compare to women who perform exercise on regular basis while for age group over 65 years old having same ratio around 47. Furthermore member of age group 15 to 24 male are leading the portion almost with 5 percent.
There were four different age stages where women's are leading the portion comparatively
to men's. With regards, to age group 25 to 35 female workout percent was 48.9 which was increased with each consecutive years age group making the count higher for 55 to 64 with 53 percentile. The difference in males is the percentage of exercise lies in between 39 to 45 percent for age groups 25 to 64 years old.
On the other hand, females are more active in physical work after their twenty's which make them carrying more proportion of the demonstrated bar chart.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the bar chart, including the overall trend and specific age group comparisons. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the claim that 'men are less active in all groups' is contradicted by the data for the 15–24 age group, where men are actually higher. Additionally, some data points are described unclearly, such as the '5 percent' lead for males, which is difficult to verify against the chart. While the main trends are identified, the lack of precision in reporting figures and the contradictory statements limit the score. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that comparisons are logically consistent with the visual evidence provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'With regards, to' and 'making the count higher for' feel disjointed. The progression of ideas is occasionally confusing, particularly when transitioning between the general overview and the specific age group details. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the vague use of 'the portion' or 'the count'. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'percentile' used instead of 'percentage', and 'workout percent' instead of 'participation rate'. The phrasing 'making the count higher' is imprecise for a report on statistical data. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and the frequent misuse of technical terms prevent a higher score. Expanding your repertoire to include more precise statistical terminology (e.g., 'proportion', 'rate', 'figure', 'fluctuate') would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include incorrect pluralisation ('different ages men', 'women's are leading'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('the percentage of exercise lies in between'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with unnecessary commas (e.g., 'illustrates, the percentile'). While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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