Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian men and women were active in regular physical activity in different age groups in year 2010.

Overall, in 2010 women were more active to do physical activity at any age rather than men. At the age group 45 to 54 of women are doing more exercise as compared others. while men were doing physical activity at the age 15 to24.

To begin with, females had a higher percentage at the age 45 to 54 was 53.3% and 55 To 64 age group did the physical activity 53% as compared to males is higher whereas females were 43.1% and 45.1% respectively. However females proportion is decreased at the age 65 and over it was remaining 47.1% and males percentage is increased 46.7%.

Moreover , men did more work at the age 15 to 24 almost 52.8% and this is fall down next two decades . In contrast women were less active to compared as men in the same age 15 to 24 only 47.7% and again they active 48.9% at the age 25 to 34. In contrast women were did less activity at the age 35 to 44 in comparsion other ages and men.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main features of the chart, such as the peak activity levels for both genders and the general trends across age groups. However, the response lacks a clear, concise overview of the data. While you mention that women were generally more active, the description of the trends is somewhat fragmented and repetitive. To improve, ensure you group data logically rather than listing figures chronologically or by age group in a way that obscures the overall comparison. Some data points are slightly confusing, such as the comparison between the 45-54 and 55-64 age groups, which could be presented more clearly to highlight the gender gap.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'In contrast' and 'whereas'. Some sentences are disjointed, making the progression of ideas feel slightly forced. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus, rather than jumping between age groups and genders within the same sentence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. You rely on basic verbs like 'do' and 'did' repeatedly (e.g., 'did the physical activity'). There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'women were more active to do physical activity'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'participate in', 'engage in', 'fluctuate', or 'a significant proportion'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repetitive phrasing and improve the overall flow of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with verb forms, prepositions, and sentence structure. Examples include 'women were more active to do physical activity' and 'women were did less activity'. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and missing articles. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are persistent and occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like tense consistency and the correct use of 'to' versus 'in' when describing participation in activities.

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