Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chart illustrates the ratio of Australian male and female in different age groups who engaged in regular physical activity in the year 2010.

Firstly, the age group between 15 to 24 male had a the highest proportion who did regular physical activity daily, meanwhile female had a proportion of 47.7% who did regular activity. While the figure of women had peaked in the age of 25 to 34 years old which had a sum of 48.9% whereas the men age group had declined to 42.2%.

Among the women, in the age of 35 to 44 the had the topmost total who did physical activity daily and the proportion had increased to 52.5%. After reachin 52.8% in men physical activity their ratio had fell considerably to 39.5%. After that, males rate have climbed slowly to 43.1% in the age of 45 to 54 years old.

Overall, the female have been stable their ratio of regular exercise to 53.3% in the age of 44 to 54. In the age of 55 to 64 age females had a percentage of 53% whereas the males had a pecrentage of 45.1% in that group. Afterall the age group of 65 and above both the male and female had almost equal proportion and the male a sum of 46.7% and females had a total of 47.1% , both the gender did regular physical activity.

To conclude, women generally had the highest porportion in the rate of regular physical activity than men.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons between genders and age groups. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you mention that the 15-24 age group for males had the highest proportion, but the chart shows this is not the case. Additionally, some figures are misquoted or confusingly presented, such as the claim that male activity reached 52.8% before falling. The overview is present but could be more effectively synthesised to highlight the broader trends rather than just listing data points. To improve, ensure you double-check the data against the visual representation and focus on identifying the most significant trends rather than detailing every single age bracket.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is sometimes hindered by awkward transitions and repetitive phrasing. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Overall', and 'To conclude', the internal flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'After that, males rate have climbed', where the connection to the previous data point is not explicitly established. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'engaged', and 'considerably'. However, there are several instances of word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'topmost total', 'sum of 48.9%', and 'stable their ratio'. These errors occasionally make the text feel unnatural. There is also some repetition of basic vocabulary. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical context. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'males rate have climbed'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the female have been stable their ratio'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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