Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
introduction:
This graph gives us the information about the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Exercise is very important it is quite necessary for our body.
“In 2010, the age group of 15 to 24 had the highest exercise percentage rate, with males at approximately 52.8% and females at approximately 47.7%.”
“In 2010, the age group of 25 to 34 had the highest exercise percentage rate, with males at approximately 42.2% and females at approximately 48.9%. ”Women exercise rate is high as compare to mens.
“In 2010, the age group of 35 to 44 had the highest exercise percentage rate, with males at approximately 39.5.2% and females at approximately 52.5%. ”Women exercise rate is high as compare to mens.
“In 2010, the age group of 45 to 54 had the highest exercise percentage rate, with males at approximately 43.1% and females at approximately 53.3%. ”Women exercise rate is high as compare to mens.
“In 2010, the age group of 55 to 64 had the highest exercise percentage rate, with males at approximately 45.1% and females at approximately 53%. ”Women exercise rate is high as compare to mens.
“In 2010, the age group of 65 and over Male and Female has same percentage of exercise which is approximately 47.1.it is just because they both spend time with each other they eat together, watching movies, and exercise together.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends. Instead of summarizing, the student lists data for each age group in a repetitive, formulaic manner. Furthermore, the inclusion of personal opinions—such as speculating that the 65+ age group exercises together because they 'watch movies'—is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report, which requires objective data analysis. The data provided is also inconsistent; for example, the student repeatedly labels every age group as having the 'highest' percentage, which is factually incorrect based on the chart. To improve, focus on grouping data points to highlight trends and comparisons rather than listing each category individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text lacks logical progression. The structure is highly repetitive, with each paragraph following the exact same sentence pattern. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and limited, relying heavily on repetitive phrases like 'In 2010, the age group of...'. There is no effective use of linking words to connect ideas or contrast the data between genders. Paragraphing is also problematic, as the response is broken into many short, disjointed segments rather than a cohesive report. To improve, use transition signals such as 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Similarly' to link sentences and group related information into clear, thematic paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. The student uses the same phrases repeatedly, such as 'highest exercise percentage rate' and 'Women exercise rate is high as compare to mens.' There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'a significant proportion.' Additionally, there are errors in word form and collocation, such as 'as compare to mens' instead of 'compared to men's.' To reach a higher band, you must vary your vocabulary and use more precise terms to describe statistical data and comparisons.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('Male and Female has same percentage'), punctuation (missing spaces after periods, incorrect use of decimals like '39.5.2%'), and sentence structure. The response relies almost entirely on simple sentences, with no evidence of complex structures. There are also significant errors in basic grammar, such as the misuse of possessives ('mens' instead of 'men's'). To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, correct punctuation, and the use of complex structures like relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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