Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar chart show the percentage of the of the women and men in Australia and different age group that work regular in 2010 physical activity of these year in the bar graph shows the percentage of the women and men in physical activity.
In the year of 2010 the population of men and women in Australia where doing regular physical activity in the age between 15 to 24 the age group of the women and men doing regular physical activity men percentage id higher then the women so, men percentage reached 52.8. During the age group 35 to 44 this age group the men percentage recently down in every age group the men percentage in this group reached to 39.5 is down in every age group but the age group 45 to 54 the percentage of women increased then all and reached to 53.3 in every age group the percentage of of Australia doing regular physical activity is highly then the men in addition to, the group age 65 over are almost equal.
In the conclusion the population of the Australia the percentage of women are grown doing regular physical activity in 2010
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to summarize the data but struggles to clearly identify and report the main features. While some figures are mentioned, the description of trends is often confusing and inaccurate, such as the claim that women's participation was higher in 'every age group' when the data shows men leading in the 15-24 and 35-44 categories. The overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the overall patterns. The response fails to provide a coherent comparison between the genders, leading to a fragmented presentation of the data. To improve, focus on identifying the highest and lowest points and grouping age categories logically to highlight clear trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow due to repetitive phrasing and a lack of logical flow. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and often incorrect way, such as the awkward use of 'in addition to' and 'in the conclusion'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it hard for the reader to track which age group or gender is being discussed. The lack of clear signposting between sentences means the information is not organized in a way that facilitates easy reading.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. There is a heavy reliance on basic words like 'percentage', 'men', 'women', and 'age group', which are repeated throughout the text. The student struggles with word choice and collocation, for example, 'work regular' instead of 'participate in regular physical activity' and 'men percentage recently down' instead of 'decreased'. There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'. The errors in word choice occasionally impede the clarity of the information provided.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. There are significant issues with sentence structure, including run-on sentences and fragments. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, such as 'the bar chart show' and 'men percentage id higher'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and periods making the text difficult to parse. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are almost always faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. The majority of sentences contain errors, which significantly impacts the readability of the report.
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