Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of Australian men and women in different ages groups did regular exercise in 2010 the data has been calibrated in percentage
Overall the highest percentage of mens doing activity in the age of 15 to 24 other the least activity doing by womens in the age of over 65 years
At a fleeting glance ,the age of 15 to 24 mens doing activity of 52.8 percent and women’s 47.7 percent and age of 25 to 34 the percentage of mens following down and womens going up 1 percent and the age of 35 to 44 mens going down upto 39.5 and womens going upto more 3 percent.
Moving further, the age of 45 to 54 the percentage of mens going up now it was 43.1 percent and womens going 1 percent more and age of 55 to 64 going up both mens and womens the percentage of mens was 45.1 and womens has same has 54 age and last the age of 65 and over unless same same having differences of one percent
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the chart, such as the highest and lowest participation rates. However, the reporting is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, the claim that 'the age of 15 to 24 mens doing activity of 52.8 percent' is clear, but the subsequent descriptions of trends (e.g., 'following down', 'going up 1 percent') are imprecise and difficult to follow. The summary lacks a clear overview of the general trends, instead focusing on a fragmented list of data points. To improve, you should group data logically and ensure that comparisons are clearly stated rather than just listing percentages.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and often mechanical or misused, such as 'At a fleeting glance' and 'Moving further'. These phrases do not effectively link the information. Furthermore, the referencing is often unclear; for instance, 'womens has same has 54 age' is confusing and lacks proper logical flow. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'doing', 'going up', and 'going down' to describe statistical changes, which lacks the precision required for an Academic Task 1 response. There are also errors in word choice and form, such as 'mens' instead of 'men' and 'womens' instead of 'women'. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'declined', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed'. The current vocabulary is just enough to convey the basic meaning but lacks the flexibility expected at higher levels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the age of 15 to 24 mens doing activity'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence structures. Many sentences are fragmented or lack a main verb, such as 'the data has been calibrated in percentage'. While you attempt to use complex ideas, the lack of control over basic grammar makes the writing difficult to read. Focusing on sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and correcting pluralization errors will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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