Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular activities in 2010.In the chart the ages of the men and women are given horizontally and the percentage is given vertically so I am starting to summarise the given information.
IN AGE 15 TO 24:
In age 15 to 24 the percentage of the regular physical activity of the men is 52.8 and the percentage of women activity is 47.7.It means that the percentage of men is higher than women
IN AGE 25 TO 34:
In age 25 to 34 the percentage of the regular physical activity of men is 42.2 and the percentage of women regular activity is 48.9.The percentage of women is higher than men
IN AGE 35 TO 44:
In age 35 to 44 the percentage of regular activity of men is 39.5 and the percentage of women regular activity is 52.5 which is quite higher than the men activity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to address the task requirements effectively. It lacks an overview, which is essential for an Academic Task 1 response to summarize main trends. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, as it only covers three of the age groups provided in the chart, ignoring the remaining data. The structure is highly mechanical, relying on a list-like format rather than an analytical report. To improve, you must synthesize the data by identifying key trends and comparisons across all age groups, rather than simply listing individual figures for each category.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response lacks a logical flow and standard paragraph structure. The use of headings like 'IN AGE 15 TO 24' is inappropriate for an IELTS essay and disrupts the coherence of the text. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; instead, the text relies on repetitive sentence structures. To achieve a higher score, you should organize your response into a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs that group information logically, using transition words to connect your observations.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. Phrases such as 'the percentage of the regular physical activity' are used repeatedly, which makes the writing monotonous. There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary or synonyms to describe the data (e.g., 'proportion,' 'figure,' 'rate,' 'fluctuated,' 'remained constant'). The language is functional but lacks the flexibility and precision required for an academic report. Expanding your vocabulary to include terms related to data analysis is essential.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very narrow, consisting almost entirely of simple sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of complex structures limits the score. There are also issues with punctuation and capitalization, such as the use of all-caps for headings and inconsistent spacing. To improve, you should practice combining simple sentences into complex ones using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'while,' 'whereas,' 'although') to compare the data between men and women more fluidly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.