Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular activities in 2010.In the chart the ages of the men and women are given horizontally and the percentage is given vertically so I am starting to summarise the given information.
IN AGE 15 TO 24:
The age 15 to 24 the percentage of the regular physical activity of the men is 52.8 and the percentage of women activity is 47.7.It means that the percentage of men is higher than women
IN AGE 25 TO 34:
The age 25 to 34 the percentage of the regular physical activity of men is 42.2 and the percentage of women regular activity is 48.9.The percentage of women is higher than men
IN AGE 35 TO 44:
The age 35 to 44 the percentage of regular activity of men is 39.5 and the percentage of women regular activity is 52.5 which is significantly higher than the men activity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to address the task requirements adequately. It only covers three of the age groups and omits the remaining data entirely, meaning the task is not fully addressed. Furthermore, the response lacks an overview, which is essential for a Band 6 or higher in Academic Task 1. The writing is essentially a list of data points rather than a summary or a report. To improve, you must include all data categories, provide a clear overview of the main trends (e.g., comparing overall participation rates between genders), and avoid simply listing figures for each group.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The structure is highly mechanical and inappropriate for an essay-style report. Using headings like 'IN AGE 15 TO 24' disrupts the flow of the text and prevents the development of a cohesive paragraph structure. There is no logical progression or use of cohesive devices to link ideas; instead, the response relies on a repetitive, list-like format. To improve, you should use standard paragraphing (Introduction, Overview, and Body Paragraphs) and use linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'similarly' to connect your observations.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. Phrases such as 'the percentage of the regular physical activity' are repeated in every sentence, which makes the writing monotonous. There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary or synonyms to describe the data (e.g., 'participation rates', 'figures', 'proportion', 'exceeded'). The language is functional but lacks the flexibility required for higher bands. You should focus on learning synonyms for 'percentage' and 'activity' and practice using verbs like 'surpassed', 'declined', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response consists primarily of simple, repetitive sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'In the chart the ages... are given horizontally' and 'the percentage of women activity', which should be 'women's activity'. The punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures, which limits the score. To improve, focus on using relative clauses, subordinating conjunctions, and ensuring correct possessive forms and subject-verb agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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