Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar charts illustrates the proportion of six different age group of Australian men and women who used to perform regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall, male who belongs to the age between 15 and 24, did the most regular activity within men section, while female in between 45 and 54, had the best regular activities done in 2010. Also male age categories between 35 and 44 had least regular workout while female over the age of 65 had done least daily workout.
Following the trend, age group 15 to 21 seem to be was best active while age group 35 to 44 was least active among male. While the trend showed a downward curve from age 15 to 24, stopped at the age group 35 to 44 and then showed a gradual increase to the group 65 and over.
Female group showed the most promising acheivement in regular activities, defeating male to almost in every age group except in early age e.g. 15 to 24. Women acheived their peak regaular activities performance in age group 45 and 54 and also beat male group at the age group 65 and more.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the bar chart, including comparisons between genders and age groups. However, the reporting is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For instance, you mention '15 to 21' when the chart shows '15 to 24'. Additionally, the description of the trends is somewhat vague and lacks precision regarding the specific percentages shown in the data. To improve, ensure you accurately transcribe the data points from the chart and provide a clearer overview of the most significant differences, such as the consistent gap between genders in the middle age brackets.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Following the trend', and 'While'. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'Following the trend, age group 15 to 21 seem to be was best active' contains redundant verbs and unclear referencing. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression within the paragraphs could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words more naturally would help improve the overall cohesion of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'categories', and 'gradual increase'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'acheivement' and 'regaular'. Some phrasing is also unnatural, such as 'within men section' and 'defeating male to almost in every age group'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your spelling is accurate. Avoid informal phrasing like 'beat' or 'best active' in favor of more academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'male who belongs to the age between 15 and 24, did the most regular activity within men section'. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, and there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical slips would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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