Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the bar graph demonstrate pecentage of australian ladies and men variety of different age group people who did daily exerciese in 2010.
the information collecting by selecting reporting the main structure of the comparison of how to men and women different age group are active in physical activity.in starting phase men are high in percentage compare to women .in last both are same.
australian men firstly age group 15 to 24 rise 52.8% opposite to women 47.7%,secondly 25 to 34 age 48.9 female against to male 42.2%,thirdly 35 to 44 age group men decrease in no of 39.5% than otherside upward in 52.5%, afterthat 45 to 54 age group downward in 43.1 % gents oppose to upward 53.3 ladies,then 55 to 64 group same as but slightly change in men .afterall in last 65 and over both age group are same in percentage show the australian people who doing regular physical activity:2010.
the conclusion is male are energetic in their young age compare to women although the last stage both gender are same in physical activity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart. You successfully identified the general trend that men are more active in younger age groups while women show higher participation in middle age, and both genders converge at the oldest age group. However, the report lacks a clear overview or summary paragraph that synthesizes the data effectively. The description of the data is somewhat repetitive, listing percentages without sufficient analysis or grouping. To improve, focus on highlighting the most significant differences and trends rather than listing every data point, which can make the report feel like a raw data dump rather than a summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is disjointed. You rely on basic sequencing words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'thirdly', which makes the writing feel mechanical. There is a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly. Furthermore, the paragraphing is not used effectively to separate the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between genders. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You use informal or imprecise terms such as 'ladies', 'gents', and 'otherside', which are not appropriate for an Academic Task 1 report. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'demonstrate pecentage' instead of 'illustrates the percentage' and 'no of 39.5%' which is grammatically awkward. To reach a higher band, you should use more precise academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'proportion', 'participation rate', 'fluctuated', and 'remained constant'. Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on correct collocations will help you convey information more professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and incorrect sentence structure. For example, 'the information collecting by selecting' should be 'the information is collected by selecting'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with many run-on sentences and missing spaces after commas. While you attempt to use some complex structures, they are often faulty, which can impede the reader's understanding. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for minor errors like missing articles ('the', 'a') before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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