Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The data illustrate the propotion of Australian male and Female who has participate in different age of groups in physical activity in 2010
Overall, Female were the most participating candidate in the Physical activity in the group, male were also a slightly differ in that criteria - which is almost the same.
On the one hand, Female has the longest participate individuals at the age from 45 to 54, which was 53.03%, at further more, the Percentage of the female in the Physical activity were slightly rose down from 53.03% to 53 at the age of 55 to 64, and so on the number rose more less at the age of 65 or over-
while on the other hand, the Percentage for mens were higher at younge age which was 52.8 at the age of 15 to 24- But the number slightly rose down to 52.5 at the age of 35 to 44, and the det decreasing process started- and at 65 and over age, the number was still less than age of younge age candidate-
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the data but fails to provide a clear, accurate overview. While it identifies some trends, the description of the data is often confusing and inaccurate (e.g., stating females were the 'most participating candidate' without clear comparison). The report lacks a logical selection of key features; instead, it lists specific percentages in a way that is difficult to follow. The summary of the trends is underdeveloped, and the lack of clarity regarding the age groups and gender comparisons prevents a full achievement of the task requirements. To improve, focus on grouping data logically and ensuring that the overview highlights the most significant differences between the two groups.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'at further more' and 'and so on the number rose more less'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between age groups. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt, and the lack of logical flow between sentences hinders the overall coherence of the response. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, which occasionally impedes communication. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'rose down' (which is contradictory) and 'participating candidate' (which is not appropriate for describing demographic data). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more academic collocations related to data description, such as 'proportion', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable', and avoid repetitive or informal phrasing that does not accurately reflect the statistical information provided in the chart.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often cause difficulty for the reader. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement ('Female were', 'Percentage... were'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as 'male were also a slightly differ in that criteria'. The range of grammatical structures is very limited, relying mostly on simple sentences with errors in tense and word order. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of prepositions and articles in an academic context.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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