Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar graph illustrates Australian male and female percentage in different age group doing regular physical activity in 2010

Overall, Australian Women more likely to participate to regular activities than Men age group except among the young age group of 15 to 24, While Female age Group has the highest participation among age 45 to 54. While the lowest Age figure were recorded among men is 65 and over.

Among all age group in male, young aged 15 to 24 has the highest over all the age group at approximately 52% higher participation rate than women, at approximately 52% and 48% respectively. However, this pattern was reversed among those aged 25 to 34, with around 42% of women participating in regular physical activity compared with about 39% of men. The difference became more noticeable in the 35 to 44 age group, where the figures were approximately 52% for women and 39% for men.

Women aged 45 to 54 recorded the highest participation rate, at about 53%, compared with roughly 43% for men. Among 55 to 64-year-olds, the figures were approximately 54% for women and 45% for men. Participation then declined among the oldest groups, reaching around 48% for women and 46% for men aged 65 and over.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response successfully identifies the main features and makes relevant comparisons between the age groups and genders. You have provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the chart. However, there is a factual error in the third paragraph where you state that the 15-24 age group had '52% higher participation rate than women' and then list the figures as '52% and 48%'. This is a mathematical inconsistency that confuses the reader. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data interpretation is precise and that your comparisons accurately reflect the figures provided in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However' and 'While' to link ideas. However, the use of 'While' at the start of sentences is sometimes repetitive and occasionally used incorrectly, such as in the second paragraph where it creates a sentence fragment. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'participation rate', 'recorded', and 'reversed'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'Australian male and female percentage' (should be 'percentages of Australian men and women') and 'participate to regular activities' (should be 'participate in'). While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more varied ways of describing trends and data would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include missing articles ('in different age group'), incorrect pluralization ('Among all age group'), and issues with subject-verb agreement ('the lowest Age figure were recorded'). Additionally, punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with the use of capital letters for 'Female' and 'Age' mid-sentence. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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