Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart depicts the proportion of Australian men and women of different age groups who had done regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall, men who fall in 15 to 24 ages groups records highest percentage in regular physical activity while women ages between 45 to 54 ages groups outnumbered all other age groups of women.
in contrast to, men having age groups of 15 to 24 are the only ones which beats women in regular physical activity with 52.8% women Although, female from 25 to 34 till 55 to 64 has outclassed men in each and every group in which they done regular physical activity.
in addition, Taking about the male and female age having 65 or over shows very tiny difference of 0.4% of physical involvement in 2010.
In conclusion women have more involvement than men from adulting before reaching in their old age in improving their health in 2010.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and identifies key trends, such as the peak in physical activity for men aged 15-24 and the general trend of women outperforming men in middle age. However, the report lacks precision in data presentation. For instance, the mention of '52.8%' is unclear as it is not linked to a specific category, and the comparison between age groups is somewhat confusingly phrased. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that all data points are clearly attributed to the correct gender and age group, and avoid vague phrasing like 'adulting before reaching in their old age'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'in contrast to' and 'Taking about' are used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of information. Furthermore, the referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which group is being compared to which. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There is a reliance on repetitive phrasing, such as 'age groups' and 'regular physical activity'. Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'outclassed' and 'adulting', which are not appropriate for an academic report. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons, and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb forms ('who had done', 'they done'), missing articles, and awkward sentence construction ('men having age groups of 15 to 24 are the only ones which beats women'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To achieve a higher score, you need to focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent tense usage, and refining your sentence structure to reduce errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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