Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar chart illustrates Australian different age women and men who did daliy basis physical activity in 2010.
overview, the different age group of men and women are from 15 to 65 and over age and bar chart shows different kind of data.in data that shows the age 15 males are high and women age 24 are 47.7 percent it means men are more then women in this month. on the one hand age 25 men are 42.2 percent and women are 48.9 percent here women are in lead it mean 50 percent. if we see age 45 to 54 women are 53.3 the higest shown on the bar and males are 43.1 percent.
on the other hand from age 55 to 64 53 percent are women and 45.1 are males and over 65 again females are 47.1 and males are 46.7 more than 40 percent.
to conclude men and women are doing regular physical activity and women are more then men in regular data. in the daliy basis women lead the chart in shown percentage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the data, but it fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends. While you mention some specific percentages, the analysis is disorganized and lacks a coherent comparison of the age groups. You have identified some key features, such as the highest percentage for women (45-54), but the reporting is often inaccurate or confusing (e.g., mentioning 'this month' which is irrelevant to the prompt). To improve, you should group the data logically—perhaps by comparing gender trends across all age groups—and ensure that the overview highlights the most significant differences rather than just listing individual data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. The introduction is poorly formed, and the body paragraphs are not logically sequenced. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused, such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand,' which do not effectively link the contrasting data points. Paragraphing is insufficient, making the text feel like a list of numbers rather than a cohesive report. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and transition words that accurately reflect the relationship between the data points, such as 'in contrast,' 'similarly,' or 'whereas.'
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic phrasing like 'men are more then women' and 'women are in lead.' There are also issues with word choice and spelling, such as 'daliy' instead of 'daily' and 'higest' instead of 'highest.' The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with precision. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'proportion,' 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'exceeded,' and ensure you are using precise terminology for the data provided.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'men and women are doing... and women are more then men'), incorrect sentence structure, and punctuation errors. You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures, which limits your ability to express complex comparisons. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and prepositions. Additionally, work on using complex sentences by incorporating relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to link your ideas more effectively.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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