Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar chart illustrate that the percentage of australia about regular physical activities of different ages in 2010 between men and women. amoung all of these activity women are ahead then men while most of the women belong from 45 to 54 age range with 53.3 percentage , in addition stand on the top position.
This bar graph also demonstrate the the young men are more active then women between age 15 to 24, after that men's activity gradually declined and women's activity rose significantly day by day until age 54, Moreover after age 54 the rate fall down with 47.1 percent at age 65 and over. on the other hand , men activity decreased uptop age 44 ,however the rate climb up 46.7 percentage at age 65 and more. Hence the data represented that women's are ahead almost each age cap with the initial age cap.
To sum up , it is clearly shown that women's are more active on physical activities rather than men in australia ssince 2010
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main features, such as the general trend of women being more active and the specific age group peaks. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, you state that women's activity rose 'until age 54' and then fell, but the data shows a more complex pattern. Furthermore, the description of men's activity is confusing and contains contradictory statements regarding the age groups. To improve, ensure you accurately report the figures and trends shown in the chart, and avoid making sweeping generalizations that are not supported by the data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. While some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'on the other hand' are used, they are often placed incorrectly or do not effectively link the ideas. The progression of information is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between men and women across the different age brackets. Improving the use of transition words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, with several errors in word choice and collocation. Phrases like 'belong from 45 to 54 age range' and 'stand on the top position' are unnatural. There are also frequent spelling and grammatical errors involving word forms, such as 'australia' (should be capitalized) and 'women's' used incorrectly as a plural noun. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise terms for describing trends and data, and ensure that you use words in their correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The bar chart illustrate'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are often simplistic or poorly constructed, leading to confusion. For example, 'the data represented that women's are ahead almost each age cap' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. You should focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct verb conjugation, and practicing the use of articles and prepositions to improve the accuracy and readability of your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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