Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Introduction
The bar graph provides information about the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who engaged in regular physical activity in 2010.
Overview
Overall, between one age group 15 to 24 and 65 and over females were actively participating in physical activities in comparison to males. However, in overall, with the exception of one age group, in which the proportions of males was higher.
Body Paragraph 1
First half of age groups between 15 to 24 to 35 to 44, the relative percentage of females was higher in comparison to males. In the age group from 15 to 24 the participation of males showed higher percentage of 52.8 in comparison to females which accounted for 47.7%. This trend was reversed in age group from 25 to 34 and 35 to 44, where females dominated males at a percentage of 48.9 and 52.5 respectively, than males which were at 42.2 and 39.5 for the mentioned age group.
Body Paragraph 2
The second half of the age group showed similar trend, the females dominated males in every age group, with a slight difference in the age group 65 and over where females accounted for 47.1% and males were at 46.7%. In terms of 45 to 54 & 55 to 64, the percentages of females were somewhere identical having 53% in one age group between 55 and 64 and 53.3% in the age group between 45 to 54. This percentage were higher in comparison to males having percentage 43.1% and 45.1% respectively for the age group from 45 to 64.
Conclusion
In conclusion, females were exceptionally higher than males in most of the cases, with slight difference in the age group between 50 and over and 15 to 24
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the data. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the general dominance of females in physical activity across most age groups. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you stated that males were higher in the 15-24 age group, which is correct, but your overview contradicts itself by stating 'females were actively participating... in comparison to males' and then immediately noting an exception. Additionally, the conclusion mentions an age group '50 and over' which is not a category present in the chart. More precise data selection and clearer synthesis would improve the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, overview, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group information. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly confusing. For example, the phrase 'In terms of 45 to 54 & 55 to 64' is a bit clunky, and the transition 'In overall' is grammatically incorrect. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the referencing between sentences could be smoother to avoid repetitive phrasing like 'in the age group' used multiple times in quick succession.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'participating,' 'dominated,' and 'reversed.' However, there are some word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'somewhere identical' instead of 'roughly similar' or 'nearly identical.' The phrase 'exceptionally higher' is also slightly unnatural in this context. While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Improving your ability to use more sophisticated comparative language would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'in overall' instead of 'overall,' 'this percentage were' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'the percentages of females were somewhere identical having 53%.' These errors do not generally impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions to improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.
