Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates the fluctuations of percentage of people doing regular physical activity among Australian men and women in different ages in 2010.
Overall, the highest percentage is seen among female of ages between 45 to 54, while the lowest among male of ages 35 to 44.
Along with the increase of ages, the number of men doing physical activity decreased. Though small rate of increment was seen in between the age of 45 to over. Physical activity among girls had been increased with the increase of ages. The highest percentage can be found in the middle ages of Australian women. At these age groups, percentage is lower from the whole life of men.
From this chart we can see that, as men grew up their physical activity percentage decreased gradually and could not recover the lack of number in 2010. In case of female Australian in the same year, the percentage was more than that of male for each age group except the early age group.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and identifies the main trends, such as the peak in female participation and the general decline in male participation. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the statement 'percentage is lower from the whole life of men' is confusing and lacks clarity. Furthermore, while the response attempts to make comparisons, some descriptions are vague, such as 'small rate of increment' and 'could not recover the lack of number'. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that data points are cited more precisely to support your observations and avoid ambiguous phrasing when describing trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Along with the increase of ages' and 'In case of female Australian'. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the transition between sentences could be smoother to improve the flow of information. Referencing is generally clear, but some sentences lack the necessary logical connectors to link the data points effectively to the overall trend.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'number' and 'percentage' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'fluctuations of percentage' (the chart shows static data, not fluctuations over time) and 'girls' (when referring to adult women). To improve, focus on using more varied and accurate terminology related to data description, such as 'participation rates', 'proportion', or 'demographic groups', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'female of ages between 45 to 54' (should be 'females aged 45 to 54'), 'Physical activity among girls had been increased' (incorrect tense), and 'lower from the whole life of men'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure often feels repetitive. To achieve a higher score, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without awkward phrasing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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