Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart compares the proportion of different ages of both gender-the males and the females on the basis of physical activities they performed during the year 2010.
Overall, the females accounted highest among many age groups particularly in 25 to 34, 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64.However, the percentage in only one age group such as 15 to 24 was descend. In addition, the ae group of 65 and over same progress had been shown.
First of all, the percentage of age group 25 to 34 women had seen the proportion of 48.9%.Moreover, the greatest difference in percentage between men and women among all groups had shown in 35 to 44 age group which is 52.5%. Similarly, in age group of 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 , the highest percentage accounts to women which is 53.3% and 53% respectively.
On the other hand, only in one age group 15 to 24 the percentage of men is higher than women which is 52.8% for the male gender and for the female gender which is 47.7%.
And on at the top the only group in which both shared similar percentage is the age group 65 and above.
In conclusion, women ranked highest ranked of percentage in physical activity of Australian men and women. In contrast, only one male age group ranked highest.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons between gender and age groups. You successfully identified the trend where women generally participated more in physical activity, with the exception of the 15-24 age group. However, the report lacks a clear, analytical overview. While you attempted an overview, it is somewhat disjointed and contains confusing phrasing, such as 'the percentage in only one age group... was descend'. To reach a higher band, ensure your overview highlights the most significant trends clearly without listing specific data points, which should be reserved for the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'First of all', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow is often interrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, 'And on at the top the only group' is confusing and does not effectively link to the previous point. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which group you are referring to. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey the main information. You use some topic-specific terms like 'proportion', 'percentage', and 'physical activity'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'accounted highest' (should be 'accounted for the highest proportion') and 'same progress had been shown'. The phrasing 'descend' is used incorrectly as a verb in this context. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices fit the grammatical context of the sentence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('the percentage... had seen'), incorrect preposition usage ('on at the top'), and awkward sentence construction ('the females accounted highest among many age groups'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence structure prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors will be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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