Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Australian male and female in all age groups who is doing workout in the year 2010.
The diagram shows that in 2010, age of 15 to 24 male has higher percentage than the female with the percentage of 52.8 percent while the other is 47.7 percent. On the other hand, age 45 to 54 girls have greater percentage than the boys with the percentage of 53.3 percent and 43.1 percent with the 10 percent difference. The same thing in the age of 35 to 44 female has the percentage than the male with 12 percent difference. However when people get older and reached 65 and over ages female and male have the same level in regular physical activity.
The chart shows that in Australia who does physical activity most of the time, female do less in their teenage until their early twenties than the male but when the getting older female is more active until they reached at the age until 64 while male do lesser and lesser when getting age. However then the opposite gender became 65 years old and over the have the same percentage or level with each other.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the bar chart, such as the gender differences in various age groups. However, the report lacks a clear overview or summary of the trends. The data presentation is somewhat disorganized, and the description of the age groups is imprecise (e.g., referring to 'girls' and 'boys' instead of 'women' and 'men'). While the key comparisons are attempted, the lack of a cohesive summary and the inclusion of some inaccurate data interpretations prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you provide a clear summary of the overall trend in the introduction or conclusion and use more precise terminology.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often confusing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'the percentage of'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when comparing age groups. The transition between the first and second body paragraphs is abrupt, and the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'conversely', 'similarly') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that contributes to the overall summary.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic terms like 'percentage', 'higher', and 'greater'. There are also inappropriate word choices, such as using 'girls' and 'boys' to describe adults in a formal report. Some phrasing is awkward, such as 'when the getting older female is more active'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'proportion', 'significant', 'marginal', or 'fluctuate', and avoid informal or inaccurate labels for the demographic groups.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'female and male have the same level'), missing articles, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'the same thing in the age of 35 to 44 female has the percentage than the male'). The range of sentence structures is limited, and there is a lack of complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and practicing the use of complex structures like relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to improve flow and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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