Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of physical activity in several age groups according to their gender in 2010.
Overall, it is evident that the percentage of youngest age group (15 to 24) male are more active than female, whereas female represent their activeness all over the age group.
On the on hand, the percentage of female showed an upward trend with increasing their age. moreover, at the age of (25 to 34) 42.2% male and 48.9% female doing regular physical activity. In addition, there was an almost similar proportion at the age of 65 and over.
On the other hand, female showed an almost similar proportion at the age of 35 to 40, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64, accounted for 52.5%, 53.3% and 53% respectively and at the similar age group male showed their activeness in physical activity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified some main features, the data reporting is inconsistent and lacks precision. For instance, you mention 'upward trend' for females, but the data provided is fragmented and lacks a clear comparison of all age groups. Furthermore, the description of the 35-64 age range is confusing and fails to clearly contrast the male and female data points. To improve, ensure you cover all categories presented in the chart and provide a more structured overview that highlights the key differences and similarities between genders across all age brackets.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'On the other hand', and 'In addition', the connections between sentences often feel mechanical or forced. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices to link ideas more fluidly rather than just starting sentences with them. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping age ranges logically rather than jumping between genders and age groups in a way that confuses the reader.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'proportion' and 'activeness', which is not a standard noun in this context. Phrases like 'female represent their activeness' are unnatural and imprecise. There is an attempt to use data-related language, but the lack of variety in your word choice restricts your ability to convey the information clearly. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to statistics, such as 'a significant majority', 'a marginal difference', or 'fluctuated', and ensure you use nouns and adjectives correctly to describe the data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'percentage of youngest age group... male are more active', which lacks proper articles and subject-verb agreement. The phrase 'increasing their age' is awkward; 'as they aged' would be more natural. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation and sentence structure, such as the incomplete sentence structure in the final paragraph. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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