Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart illustrated that the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in the early 21st century.
Overall, there were the percentage of men and women is at the y-axis and age group at the x-axis. The men from the age 15 to 24 took the high part rather than the the females. the percentage of males was about 52.8%. On the other hand, the number of female could not much take in physical activity in 2010 from the age 15 to24. However, the percentage of women was 47.7%.
The number of males were sharply decrease about from 52.8% to
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the 150-word minimum requirement, which severely impacts the ability to fully address the task. The summary is incomplete, as it fails to cover the majority of the data points provided in the chart and cuts off mid-sentence. While there is an attempt to identify the main features, such as the 15-24 age group, the lack of completion means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, you must ensure you describe all key trends across the different age groups and provide a complete overview of the data presented.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response lacks a clear logical progression. The introduction is not a complete sentence, and the body paragraphs are disjointed. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas, and the abrupt ending makes the text feel unfinished. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the internal structure of the paragraphs is weak. To improve, focus on using transition words like 'in contrast', 'furthermore', or 'consequently' to connect your observations and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'took the high part' and 'could not much take in' are unnatural and imprecise. There is a lack of variety in reporting verbs and descriptive language necessary for a data-based task. You should aim to use more precise terminology related to statistics, such as 'proportion', 'fluctuated', or 'a significant decline'. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you describe the trends in the chart more accurately and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
There are frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. Examples include 'The bar chart illustrated that the percentage...', 'the number of female could not much take in', and 'The number of males were sharply decrease'. These errors involve incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and awkward sentence construction. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.