Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The Bar chart demonstrate the total percentage of Australian men and woman who did physical activity each day in 2010 with diverse age gaps.
Overall,the percentages of male and female regular physical activity with different ages are given.while as the age significantly rose it show more female physical activity percentage.
Between the age of 15 to 24 there are52.8 percentage of men who did physical activity regularly and then 47.7 percentage of woman.As the age surged up the regular physical activity of men fluctuate while females continuously rose. Like from the age of 35 to 44 there is a substantial decline in the male physical activity while females activity rose with the percentage of 52.5.In addition, between the age of 55 to 64 the ratio of male activity edged up a little with the percentage of 45.1 while females activity is still in the strongest proportion in the percentage of 53% .At the age of 65 and over there is a slight difference of 0.5% between the physical activity of male and female.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the bar chart, identifying the trends for both men and women across the age groups. However, the overview is somewhat weak and lacks clarity, as the sentence 'while as the age significantly rose it show more female physical activity percentage' is grammatically awkward and slightly inaccurate regarding the data trends. While you have selected key data points, the comparison between genders could be more analytical rather than just listing percentages. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly highlights the most significant trend—specifically that female participation generally increases with age while male participation is more volatile.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and punctuation errors. For example, 'Overall,the' lacks a space, and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. While you use some cohesive devices like 'In addition' and 'Between the age of', the connections between ideas feel somewhat repetitive. The paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by grouping information more logically, perhaps by comparing the genders within each age bracket more consistently to improve the overall progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, including terms like 'substantial decline', 'fluctuate', and 'proportion'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'age gaps' (instead of 'age groups'), 'surged up' (which is slightly informal), and 'strongest proportion'. Additionally, there are minor errors in word form, such as 'woman' (singular) used instead of 'women' (plural). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring consistent use of plural forms when referring to groups.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The Bar chart demonstrate', 'it show'), missing articles, and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly enhance the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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