Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
over all the men in young group can lead the women while women stamina boost up in the middle of age.
The men in young age 52.8% men can performed 15 to 24 repetition of exercises. while women in this age ratio 42.2 % to 48.9% in age 15 to 24 or 25 to 34. In this age men ratio of physical activity became 48.9% .
In middle age 35 to 44 women actively taking part in physical exercises it will be 52.5 as compared to men 39.5%.
percentage of women during 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 remains constant in contrast to men 53.3%>43.1% or 53% >45.1%%. In 65 and over men and women has same rate.
In summary men are more fit physically in a young age and women fitness varying with the age.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state that men in the 15-24 age group performed '15 to 24 repetition of exercises,' which misinterprets the chart's purpose (percentage of people doing physical activity). Additionally, the data points provided are often confusing or incorrectly transcribed, such as the comparison of 53.3% and 43.1%. While you attempt to identify trends, the lack of precision in reporting the figures makes it difficult for the reader to follow the information accurately. To improve, focus on clearly stating the percentages and ensuring your comparisons are based on the actual data presented.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently disrupted by unclear sentence structures and poor transitions. Phrases like 'over all the men in young group can lead the women' are vague and do not effectively introduce the overview. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and often incorrectly, such as the confusing use of symbols like '>' to compare data points. The progression of ideas between sentences is often disjointed, making the overall argument difficult to follow. To improve, use clear linking words (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' 'Conversely') and ensure each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'men,' 'women,' 'age,' and 'physical activity' throughout the response. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'stamina boost up' and 'young group,' which are not natural in this context. The misuse of terminology, such as referring to percentages as 'repetition of exercises,' indicates a lack of precision. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'proportion,' 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' and 'a significant majority.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('men and women has same rate'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction ('women fitness varying with the age'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences that lack complexity. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of symbols and percentages. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading for basic errors before finishing is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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