Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar chart illustrate the percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity in 2010. full black denote female and shaded portion symbolied male.
Overall, on the X axis there is age group divided into 6 groups started from 15 to 24 and end at 65 and over. Moreover, in other Y axis there have percentage from 0 to 60 in the sequence of 10
At age of 45 to54 female do more physical activity its about 53.3 percentage where men are at 43.1 percent only. In the context of female it is the highest point where female do lots of exercise. At the beginning of the journey of life where at the age of 15 to 24 ages men do more physical activity its about 52.8 percent and in female its about 47.7 percent.
At the age of 65 and over the physical activity done by both male and female are same 45.7 of men and 47.1 of female . The lowest point of male is on age of 35to44 its only about 39.5.Moreover, lowest point of female was 65 and over. Comparatively female do more physical activity where men are no.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the chart, such as the age groups and gender comparisons. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear, cohesive overview. While you identified the highest and lowest points, the reporting of data is occasionally inaccurate (e.g., stating the lowest point for females is 65 and over, which contradicts the visual data). To improve, ensure you group information logically rather than listing data point by point. A stronger overview should highlight the general trends, such as the fact that participation rates fluctuate significantly across age groups for both genders, rather than just describing the axes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow between sentences is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes awkward, such as 'In the context of female' and 'At the beginning of the journey of life'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear progression of ideas. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') to connect your comparisons more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. You rely heavily on simple terms like 'do' and 'percentage'. There are also issues with word choice and form, such as 'symbolied' (symbolized) and 'in other Y axis'. The phrasing is often unnatural, which limits your ability to convey information with precision. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuate', 'proportion', 'peak', and 'decline', and ensure you use the correct parts of speech.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The bar chart illustrate', 'female do more') and missing articles ('in other Y axis'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors in punctuation or word order. For example, 'At the age of 65 and over the physical activity done by both male and female are same' is grammatically incorrect. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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