Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall, the female different age group proportion of regular physical activity , most of the female age group daily activity is higher than men. The men age groups ,lowest percentage of regular physical activity.
The female age groups, highest percentage of regular activity 45-54 years and 55-64 years age group female peoples our daily activity is mostly this age group peoples regular activity ( 53.3% and 53%).Whereas, 35-44 years age group people also equal in 54 and 64 ages. While, the old people 65 and over the ages 47.1% only daily excercise. The young age group female 15 to 24 years only 47.7% regular activity. The men age group of different age men's people , the younger is high level of percentage regular physical activity, 15-24 age groups men 52.8% daily activity and 25-34,45-54 and 55-64 age groups almost same percentage(42.2%, 43.1% and 45.1%) of regular activity in 2010 Australian. Furthermore, 35-44 years only 39.5% of men people daily activity they are doing. Finally, 65 and over the years almost equal to female age groups in men proportion of 46.7% of people daily physical activity in Australian.
In summary, the female age group of peoples mostly our regular activity is high level of proportion in 2010. The male age group of our daily physical activity is lower than female.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the bar chart, such as the general trend that women were more active than men across most age groups. However, the reporting of data is often confusing and lacks precision. For instance, the phrase '35-44 years age group people also equal in 54 and 64 ages' is unclear and does not accurately reflect the data. While you have identified some key comparisons, the lack of clear, logical grouping makes it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. To improve, focus on selecting the most significant data points rather than listing every figure, and ensure your comparisons are clearly linked to the specific age groups mentioned.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often missing or misused, such as 'While, the old people 65 and over the ages 47.1% only daily excercise.' The referencing is also problematic; it is often unclear which group you are referring to due to repetitive and imprecise language. To improve, use linking words like 'in contrast', 'similarly', or 'whereas' more effectively to connect your ideas, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'people', 'age group', and 'activity'. There are several instances of awkward word choices and unidiomatic expressions, such as 'female peoples' and 'daily activity is mostly this age group peoples regular activity'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'activity' (e.g., 'physical exercise', 'fitness levels') and avoid redundant phrasing. Focus on using words that accurately describe statistical trends, such as 'proportion', 'percentage', and 'fluctuated'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and incorrect sentence structures, such as 'most of the female age group daily activity is higher than men.' Many sentences are fragmented or lack a clear main verb. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction—ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb—before attempting more complex grammatical forms. Proofreading for basic punctuation and article usage would also significantly improve the quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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