Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
this is bar chart shows information about percentage and different age group of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity in the year 2010. On the younger side of men and women between the age of 15 to 24 is 52.8 and 47.7 percent respectively. In age group between 25 to 34 of men and women is 42.2 and 48.9 respectively, There is a slight fall in men doing exercise than women. and between age 35 to 44, the percentage is 39.5% of men and 52.5% of women. this 39.5% is the lowest overall in the bar chart. Now between age of 45 to 54, The percentage is 43.1% of men and 53.3% of women. the 53.3% is highest percent in the whole chart. now shifting towards older men and women, the number of percentage are 45.1% of men and 53% of women from age of 55 to 64.
at last 65 and above, the percentage are very close 46.7% in men and 47.1% in women.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all age groups and makes comparisons between genders, which is positive. However, the report lacks a clear overview of the main trends, such as the general tendency for women to participate more in physical activity than men across most age groups. The data is presented in a list-like fashion, moving chronologically through the age groups without synthesizing the information into meaningful trends or highlighting significant contrasts effectively. To reach a higher band, you should group the data more logically and provide a clear summary statement in the introduction or conclusion that captures the overall pattern observed in the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organized chronologically, which provides a basic structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is very limited and repetitive, relying heavily on simple transitions like 'now' and 'at last'. Paragraphing is absent, as the entire response is a single block of text, which hinders readability. The progression of ideas is mechanical rather than logical, as the text reads more like a list of statistics than a cohesive report. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Conversely', 'Furthermore') and organize your response into distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main body, and overview.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'percentage', 'men', 'women', and 'age group'. There is little attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends or data points, such as 'proportion', 'figure', 'fluctuate', or 'peak'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the misuse of some terms (e.g., 'the number of percentage') limit the score. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary to describe statistical data and avoid repeating the same nouns and verbs throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'this is bar chart shows' (missing article), 'the number of percentage are' (subject-verb agreement), and inconsistent capitalization. Punctuation is also problematic, with several run-on sentences and incorrect use of periods. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors indicates a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and ensuring that each sentence has a clear subject and verb before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.