Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart depicts that the proportion of Australian men and women in distinct age groups who did daily physical activity in year 2010.
Overall, it is evident that the highest proportion of 15 to 24 age group of male and the lowest proportion of men of 35 to 44 age group people.
In detail, after analyzing the bar chart it is clear that the proportion of men age group 15 to 24 was accounted for 52.8 and the proportion of the female of same age group was 47.7. The proportion of 25 to 34 age group male was 42.2 and female was 48.9 and the proportion of 35 to 44 age group female was accounted for 52.5.
Moving further, the percentage of 45 to 54 age group men it is about 43.1 and the female of the same age group was 53.3 and the proportion of men 55 to 64 age group people it is accounted for 45.1.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the chart, but the analysis is incomplete. You have failed to include data for the 65+ age group, which is a significant omission. Furthermore, the overview is poorly constructed; it lacks a clear summary of the overall trends, such as the general difference between genders across age groups. The reporting of data is often repetitive and lacks comparative language. To improve, ensure you cover all categories provided in the prompt and focus on identifying the most significant trends rather than simply listing every data point.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The overview is not clearly separated from the body paragraphs, and the transition between sentences is often mechanical. For example, 'Moving further' is used to start a paragraph, but the connection to the previous information is not smooth. The use of cohesive devices is limited and repetitive, often relying on 'the proportion of' to start every sentence. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would improve the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use the phrase 'the proportion of' and 'age group', which makes the writing feel monotonous. There is little attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary or synonyms to describe the data (e.g., 'figures', 'percentage', 'participation rates'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of lexical variety prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Try to incorporate a broader range of descriptive verbs and nouns to convey the information more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are several grammatical errors throughout the text that affect clarity. For instance, the opening sentence is a fragment ('The bar chart depicts that...'), and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and missing articles, such as 'the highest proportion of 15 to 24 age group of male'. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and work on using more varied complex structures to demonstrate control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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