Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of men and women was doing some physical activities in Australia in 2010.

Overall, young males were attempted high physical activities and females had attempted it in their adulthood. At the early age of senior citizens, both men and women had same interest in physical activities.

The men who aged between 15 to 24, 52.8% were doing physical tasks and same was recorded for women at 47.7%. In age of 25 to 34, both percentages were decreased and there were accounted at 42.2% for men and 48.9% for women. After that, in the age of 35 to 44 number of males again fall and accounted at 39.5%, while female percentage was increased and noted 52.5%.

In the age group of 45 to 54, both men and women percentage was increased and accounted at 43.1% and 53.3% respectively. Then in 55 to 64 age, percentage of men increased and reached 45.1% but female percentage was quite fallen and reached 53%. In the age of above 65 both category people were accounted almost same as male at 46.7% and female at 47.1%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons between age groups and genders. You successfully identified the key trends, such as the peak in female participation in the 45-54 age group and the convergence at the 65+ category. However, the overview is slightly weak; it attempts to summarize trends but uses somewhat vague phrasing like 'young males were attempted high physical activities'. To improve, ensure the overview clearly highlights the most significant overall trends, such as the general higher participation rates of women in most age groups compared to men, rather than focusing on specific age-related anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the data. There is a clear progression of information as you move through the age groups. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'in the age of' or 'accounted at'. To reach a higher band, try to vary your transition signals and use referencing more effectively to avoid repeating the same sentence structures. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be smoother with more sophisticated linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the data, using terms like 'proportion', 'percentage', and 'respectively'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'were attempted high physical activities' (should be 'engaged in') and 'both category people were accounted almost same' (should be 'participation rates were similar'). These errors occasionally impede the precision of your reporting. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to data description, such as 'participation rates', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable', rather than relying on 'accounted at' for every figure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and prepositions, such as 'the proportion of men and women was doing' (should be 'were doing') and 'in age of 25 to 34' (should be 'in the 25 to 34 age group'). Additionally, there are issues with passive voice construction and tense consistency. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the data, they occur frequently enough to limit the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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