Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates different age groups of men and women in Australia who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall, the percentage of the female who did regular physical activity remain higher then men. Female groups in their mid age seems more enthusiast for physical activity while men seems not motivated in their mid age.
In the first group whose age is from 15 to 24, the percentage of the men who do regular activity is 52.8% which is just below over the 53% of female group whose age is 55 to 64. While the female accounts for 47.7% in the first group. And this is the only group where men have high percentage then women. In subsequent group, the percentage of the men drastically dropped to 42.2%. Meanwhile, women percentage increased to 48.9%.
From 25 to 64 years men percentage seems fluctuating, but female seems to me more balanced in their regular physical activity. For more aged people it seems to be balanced for both male and female where men contribute 46.7% and women 47.1%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and selects key features, such as the general trend of women participating more in physical activity. However, the report is marred by inaccuracies in data interpretation. For example, you state that the 15-24 age group is the only one where men have a higher percentage than women, but the chart shows men are also higher in the 35-44 age group. Additionally, the comparison between the 15-24 male group and the 55-64 female group is confusing and does not effectively highlight the main trends. To improve, ensure that data points are transcribed accurately and focus on comparing the two genders within the same age brackets rather than mixing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'In subsequent group' is grammatically incomplete, and the use of 'Meanwhile' is slightly awkward in context. While there is a clear attempt to group information, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by the confusing data comparisons. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used to connect related ideas more smoothly would elevate the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'the percentage of the female' (should be 'females' or 'the female population') and 'more aged people' (better expressed as 'older age groups'). The word 'enthusiast' is used incorrectly as an adjective; 'enthusiastic' would be the correct form. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for data reporting, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'a significant proportion,' and ensure that word forms are used correctly in their respective grammatical contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'percentage... remain higher'), incorrect comparative structures (e.g., 'higher then men' instead of 'higher than men'), and missing articles. The sentence 'Female groups in their mid age seems more enthusiast' contains multiple errors in pluralisation and word choice. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and correct comparative forms will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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