Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical exercise in 2010.
The percentages of men who exercised gradually decreased as their age increased but the number of women who exercised regularly amazingly increased with their ages. Moreover, the oldest age group from 65 and over seemed to obtain the similar position in the chart.
The highest trend shown in the chart is in the age group 45 to 54 where women took the highest position in the chart at with the 53%. Whereas, we saw the lowest trend in the age group 35 to 54 where again men took the lowest position with the 39.5%.
The lowest percentage of the women who exercised was 47.7 which is a very appreciable number.
The number of women who exercised throughout the year remained quite stable. However, men who exercised regularly showed a completely different trend and their percentages fluctuated throughout the year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides an overview of the data, but it struggles with accuracy and clarity. You correctly identify the age groups and the gender comparison, but some of your interpretations are factually incorrect based on the chart (e.g., claiming men's participation 'fluctuated throughout the year' is irrelevant as the chart shows age groups, not time periods). Additionally, the claim that women's participation 'amazingly increased' is an over-generalization that lacks a neutral, academic tone. To improve, ensure you focus strictly on the data provided and avoid subjective commentary. You need to be more precise when reporting figures, as some of your comparisons are confusing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by inaccurate data reporting and confusing transitions. For example, the phrase 'the oldest age group... seemed to obtain the similar position' is vague and does not clearly link to the data. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'Moreover' and 'Whereas' at the start of sentences where the connection to the previous thought is weak. Improving the clarity of your topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'highest trend' and 'lowest position' rather than using more sophisticated terminology such as 'peak,' 'proportion,' or 'marginal difference.' There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'obtain the similar position.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends and data points, and avoid informal or emotive language like 'amazingly' or 'appreciable.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'at with the 53%' contains redundant prepositions, and 'the oldest age group from 65 and over' is grammatically awkward. There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. While your meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that your sentence structures are not only complex but also error-free.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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