Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given information shows the percentage of australian men and women who do regular exercise.
The bar chat have data of peoples from age 15 to over 65 and percentage bar with maximum 60 percentage. Both genders men and female of australia take part in exercise regularly.
The trend of exercise is famous in 15 to 24 year boys it is 52.9 percent. While the age of 35 to 44 don not take much part in this race their percentage is 39.5. The percentage of age 25 to 34 or 45 to 54 is similar it is 42.2 or 43.1 percent of boys. The percentage of 55 to 64 year old men is 45.1 percent and the age of 65 and over 65 is 46.7 percent.
The most active age of female in physical activity is 45 to 54 its percentage is 53.3 which is similar to the age of 35 to 44 their percentage is 52.5 and age of 55 to 64 with 53 percent. While the lowest percentage is 47.1 the age of people is 65 and over 65. The young generation with age of 15 to 24 take part in this race with 47.7 percent. Female with age of 25 to 34 who are regular is physical activity is 48.9 percent.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the data, but the analysis is somewhat mechanical. You have successfully identified the key age groups and compared the genders; however, the report lacks a clear overview or summary of the most striking trends. For example, you list the percentages for each age group individually rather than grouping them to highlight broader patterns, such as the fact that women generally show higher participation rates than men across most age brackets. To reach a higher band, ensure you synthesise the data rather than simply listing figures, and provide a clear, concise summary statement in the introduction or conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes repetitive. Phrases like 'the age of' are used frequently, which makes the flow feel mechanical. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. To improve, try using a wider variety of transition signals such as 'in contrast', 'conversely', or 'furthermore' to better connect your comparisons. Additionally, ensure that referencing is clear; currently, some sentences feel disjointed because the connection to the previous point is not explicitly stated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'take part in this race' and 'famous', which are not appropriate for a formal report on statistical data. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'regular is physical activity'. To improve, focus on using more academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'participation rates', 'proportion', 'fluctuated', or 'remained consistent'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repetitive phrasing and demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'The bar chat have data' (subject-verb agreement), 'men and female' (inconsistent noun usage), and 'don not take' (typo). There are also issues with article usage and prepositions throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent terminology when referring to the genders and age groups.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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