Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The data collected in 2010 groups Australian men and women in different age groups and illustrates the percentage of those who engaged in regular physical activities.

Apart from the age group 15-24 a higher percentage of women worked out then the men. With the highest percentage of women working out in the age group 55 to 64. While the highest percentage of men working out is between the ages 15 to 24. For women the age group engaging least in physical activity was 65 and over for men the same was the age group 35 to 44.

The overall trend for men was that a significant number of men 52.8% worked out in group 1 which decreased for group 2 to 42.2% and further decreased to 39.5% for group 3. For group 4,5 and 6 we see an increase in the trend rising to 43.1% 45.1% and finally to 46.7% respectively.

For women the general trend increased for the first 4 groups from 47.7% going through 48.9%, 52.5% and finally 53.3% respectively. The trend then decreased with increase in age group going through 53% to 47.1% for age 65 and over.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main features of the data and provided relevant comparisons between men and women. You covered all age groups and highlighted the key trends. However, the report could be improved by grouping the data more effectively rather than listing percentages for every single category, which makes the text feel slightly mechanical. To reach a higher band, ensure you provide a clear overview that synthesizes the data rather than just describing it sequentially. For example, noting that women generally maintained higher participation rates across most age groups would have strengthened the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction and separate paragraphs for trends. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive. You rely heavily on phrases like 'the trend then' or 'for group X'. Using a wider variety of linking words and transition signals would improve the flow. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for instance, referring to 'group 1' or 'group 2' without explicitly stating the age ranges in the body paragraphs makes the reader work harder to follow the data. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices will enhance the overall progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, such as 'engaged in', 'significant number', and 'respectively'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'trend' and 'group'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and academic collocations related to data description. For example, instead of saying 'worked out', you could use 'participated in physical activity' or 'engaged in exercise'. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'then' instead of 'than' in the second paragraph, which slightly impacts the precision of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'a higher percentage of women worked out then the men' should be 'than the men'. There are also issues with punctuation and sentence structure, such as 'For women the age group engaging least in physical activity was 65 and over for men the same was the age group 35 to 44', which is a run-on sentence that requires better punctuation or a conjunction. Increasing the variety of complex structures and proofreading for basic errors would help raise your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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