Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, It is evident that the data cover age group from 15 to 65 and over. higher proportions of females engaged in physical activity as compare to males in the 25 to 65 age group.

It can be clearly seen that, young men age 15 to 24 participates more regularly as compare to women. In 2010, 52.8% men in this group participated regularly physical activity compare to 47.7% women. However, the percentage of men engaging de3clined in regular physical activity because of work hours and other responsibilities as compare to women.

By the age of 65 the percentage of of men and women who exercised regularly more comparable . At this age , 46.7% men and 47.1 % of women were engaged in physical activity. showing slightly increase women in physical activity compare with men.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the chart, identifying the age range and comparing male and female participation. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention that women participate more in the 25-65 age group, you do not provide specific data points for these categories, which is essential for a clear summary. Additionally, the explanation regarding the decline in men's activity due to 'work hours' is an external assumption not supported by the provided data, which should be avoided in Task 1. To improve, ensure you report the data accurately and avoid speculating on the reasons behind the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive cohesive devices. For example, the phrase 'as compare to' is used repeatedly, which makes the writing feel mechanical. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within sentences needs more variety to ensure a more natural progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'de3clined', and grammatical inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'participated regularly physical activity' (missing a preposition). You rely heavily on basic descriptors like 'higher' and 'more'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data description, such as 'a significant disparity', 'a marginal difference', or 'a downward trend'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include missing articles ('the percentage of of men'), incorrect verb forms ('young men... participates'), and preposition errors ('increase women in physical activity'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around percentages and commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent use of prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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