Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The bar chart complete the proportion of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall, the illustrates proportion of the highest range of the man and women like little youngers, youngers, milennial, olders, middle of age groups people however the people like milennials, olders are the least activity in physical.
Initially, the teengers had been the highest range by 52.8% in despite that the milennial, middle of ages and olders have been the most activity man and women peoples among all group by 52.5%, 53.3%, 53%, 48.9% and 47.7% . However the milennial and middle of age group man and women peoples are the least activity in physical by 39.5%, 42.2% , 43.1% in 2010.
Endlessly, the middle of age , olders and over olders had been the similar activity in physical done by the man and women by 45.1%, 46.7% and 47.1% in 2010.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarise the data but fails to provide a clear or accurate overview. The main features are not effectively identified, and the data points provided in the body paragraphs are often contradictory or confusing (e.g., stating a group is the 'highest' and then listing a lower percentage). The description of the age groups is non-standard and unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison. To improve, you must ensure that the data reported matches the chart accurately and that the overview highlights the most significant trends rather than listing random figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often inappropriate or confusing, such as 'Initially' and 'Endlessly', which do not fit the context of a data report. Referencing is unclear, and the transition between ideas is disjointed. The structure lacks a logical flow, making it difficult to identify the relationship between the different age groups and the physical activity levels. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. You rely on repetitive and non-standard terminology such as 'little youngers', 'milennial', and 'middle of age groups'. There is a lack of precision in describing the data, and the word choice often impedes communication. To reach a higher band, you need to use more precise academic vocabulary related to statistics and trends, such as 'proportion', 'percentage', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable', and avoid informal or invented phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure meaning. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the illustrates proportion'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence structures. The use of articles and prepositions is inconsistent. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty and contain errors that cause difficulty for the reader. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring correct verb forms will help improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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