Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chart compares the percentage of Australian men and women of different age groups who did their regular physical activity in the year 2010. Overall, female had relatively higher percentage in comparison to male while the young male had higher percentage doing their regular physical activity with the age gap pf nine years, from 15 to onward 65.

The male who had age between 15 to 24 had 52.8 percentage of doing their work. Furthermore, its percentage decreased relatively with the age group 25 to 34 had 42.2 and 39.5 percentage had people of age group between 35 to 44. Men having age group between 45 to 54 had percentage 43.1 and it increased slightly with 45.1 percentage between people of 55 to 64. However, male who were 65 and over had 46.7 percentage doing their regular physical activity.

Female had relatively higher percentage then male in all age groups. Female who had age between 15 to 24 had 47.7 percentage, the only time when male percentage were higher than female. Meanwhile, as the age gap increased by nine years, the number of females also increased with 48.9% between age group 25 to 34, 52..5% between age group 35 to 44. While, 45 to 54 age group of females had higher percentage among all of about 53.3% which decreased slightly to 53% of having age group of 55 to 64. However, the people who were 65 and over had equal percentage of about 47.1 in females and 46.7 in males The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main features and provided relevant comparisons between the genders and age groups. You covered all categories, including the 65+ group. However, your overview is slightly confusing; you state that females had a higher percentage overall, but then contradict yourself by mentioning that young males had a higher percentage. A more precise overview would clearly state that while participation rates fluctuated across age groups, females generally maintained higher levels of activity than males, except in the youngest cohort. Ensure your data points are accurate; for instance, you mentioned 52.8% for males aged 15-24, which is correct, but your description of the trends could be more concise to avoid listing every single data point.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the comparison. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'Meanwhile' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is a bit abrupt. Additionally, the final sentence of your response includes a redundant repetition of the task prompt, which negatively impacts the coherence of your conclusion. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe the data, using terms like 'percentage', 'decreased', 'increased', and 'age groups'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'doing their work' instead of 'participating in physical activity' and 'age gap pf nine years' (typo). You also struggle with collocations, such as 'female had relatively higher percentage'. Using more precise academic vocabulary would elevate your score. For instance, instead of saying 'the number of females also increased', you should refer to the 'percentage' or 'proportion' of females, as the chart measures percentages, not raw numbers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

Your writing shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('female had', 'male percentage were') and incorrect article usage. You also have some punctuation errors, such as '52..5%'. While you attempt to use complex sentences, they are often marred by these slips. To reach a higher band, focus on consistent subject-verb agreement and proofreading for minor errors. Ensure that your comparisons are grammatically sound, for example, by using 'higher than' instead of 'higher then'.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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