Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females in numerous age groups who did daily physical activity in 2010.
Overall, it is evident that all categories showed fluctuated trend, although men recorded the highest and lowest proportion in the 15 to 24 and 35 to 44 age groups. In addition, women experienced the lagfest and least figure in the 45 to 54 and 64 and above age groups.
Looking first at the 15 to 24 age group, the percentage of Australian men and women regular physical activity stood at 52.8% and 47.7%, respectively. This figure then decreased for males to 42.2% and increased for females in the 25 to 34 age group. Furthermore, in the 35 to 44 age group, the proportion for men considerably fell from 42.2% to 39.5% and women experienced a slightly increase from 48.9% to 52.5%.
By contrast, in the 45 to 54 age group, males initially stood at 43.1%, followed by 45.1% in the 54 to 64 and before rising to 46.7% in the 65 and above age group. In contrast, females stood at 43.1%, it then grew to 45.1% and rising to 46.7% by the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and selects key features, such as the highest and lowest points. However, the analysis of the data is inconsistent. For instance, the description of the 45 to 54 age group is confusing, as you state both genders stood at 43.1%, which contradicts the typical presentation of such charts. Furthermore, the summary of trends is somewhat inaccurate; you mention a 'fluctuated trend' for all categories, but the data shows more specific patterns. To improve, ensure that the data points cited align precisely with the provided chart and avoid making broad generalizations that are not supported by the specific figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the overview to the specific age groups. You use cohesive devices such as 'Looking first at', 'Furthermore', and 'By contrast' to link your sentences effectively. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the comparison between genders becomes muddled. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring that the logical flow between sentences is smoother and that the relationships between the data points are clearly articulated without ambiguity.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'illustrates', and 'regular physical activity'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice, such as 'lagfest' and 'least figure', which are not standard academic collocations. Additionally, the phrase 'slightly increase' should be 'slight increase'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, you need to use more precise and natural academic collocations to achieve a higher score. Avoid inventing or misusing informal terms, as these detract from the professional tone required for an Academic Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'showed fluctuated trend' should be 'showed a fluctuating trend', and 'rising to 46.7%' in the final paragraph lacks a proper subject or verb connection to the previous clause. There are also issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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