Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the bar chart illustrates the percentage of both men and women of Australia and its differ from age groups who done daily leisure activities in 2010 . At a glance , the age groups of 65 and over has shared somewhat equal percentage in that year .
To begins with , the male has get approximately 53% whereas female has given 48 % between the age group from 15 to 24 . furthermore the age between 25 to 34 has shown reverse trend compare to previous age group . Moreover the age from 35 to 44 the male percentage simultaneously decreased to 40% and for female its dramatically rise to 53% . In addition to the age of female group from 35 to 64 has shared similar percentage .
to sum up , over the age group increases there is rise in the trend of female for daily physical activities .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the chart, such as the age groups and gender comparisons. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision in reporting data. For instance, the statement that the 65 and over group shared an 'equal percentage' is vague, and the description of trends is occasionally confusing, such as the claim that the 25-34 age group showed a 'reverse trend' without clearly explaining what that means. To improve, you should ensure that all data points are accurately described and that comparisons are made more explicitly using the provided figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To begins with' and 'furthermore'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, making it difficult to follow the comparison between genders across different age groups. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the 'reverse trend'. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic structures to describe the data. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'the male has get' instead of 'the percentage of males was' and 'its dramatically rise' instead of 'it rose dramatically'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more varied verbs for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked') and ensure correct word forms are used.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('the male has get'), incorrect verb tenses ('who done'), and missing articles or prepositions. The sentence structures are predominantly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'over the age group increases there is rise'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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