Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian male and female of several age groups involved in physical activity in the year 2010.
Overall, women shows higher percentages in doing regular exercise compared to men. Young aged females relatively less than males while old aged females categorised on top in contrast to males. In old age both groups show almost similar trend in doing physical activity.
Young age females(15 to 24) pursued regular exercise about 47.7% comparatively less than same aged male that was 52.8%. Males than shows a fluctuations as there proportion decreased down steadily from 42.2% to 39.5% in age 25 to 44 .There percentages remained lower than females category as in age 55 to 64 females were on top 53% while males decreased to 45.1%.
On the other hand, females shows a gradually increased their involvement in physical activity in age group 25 to 54 shows gradually inclined in proportion from 48.9% to 52.2%. While old age group females aged 55 to 64 remained on top 53% and in age 65 and over both male and female shows approximately equal percentages 46.7% males and 47.1% females.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons. You successfully identified the overall trend and highlighted key data points for different age groups. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state that females aged 55-64 were 'on top' at 53%, but the chart shows this figure for the 45-54 age group. Additionally, the description of trends is sometimes confusing, such as the claim that males showed a fluctuation from 42.2% to 39.5% when the data suggests a more linear decline. To improve, ensure that data points are transcribed precisely and that comparisons are clearly linked to the specific age categories provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific age groups. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the other hand' and 'Overall' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the transition between the 25-44 and 55-64 age groups. The paragraphing is functional, but the internal structure of the body paragraphs could be improved by grouping information more logically rather than jumping between age ranges. Strengthening the use of linking words would help create a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'fluctuations', and 'involvement'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'Young aged females relatively less than males' (missing a verb) and 'old aged females categorised on top'. These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that word forms (e.g., 'inclined' vs 'increase') are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'women shows', 'females shows') and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, specifically regarding the use of parentheses and commas. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for small grammatical slips would significantly improve the clarity and professional tone of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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