Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Regular physical activity is nessaccery for all humans beings. In morning any type of physical activity if you ran, walk or play any game that have physically good to enjoy our whole day become fresh and comfortable not lazy and bored.

Now illustrate from regular physical activity of the Australian main and women in 2010. We can discuss about the physical activity in different age groups in child to adults and old age for men and women.

Firstly know about them age 15 to 24, men active more then women 52.8% have men and 47.7% have women. In age 25 to 34 female are more active then men, 48.9% was women and 42.2% men.

Now about age 35 to 44 women was more active 52.5% then men 39.5% and age group 45 to 54 women have preciously better then men, women have 53.3% and men have very lower 43.1%. 45.1% men and 53 women was active in age 55 to 64. In above then 65 and over remains same slightly different 47.1% was women and 46.7% have men.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to focus on the task requirements. The introduction includes irrelevant personal opinions about physical activity rather than a summary of the chart. While the data points are mentioned, the analysis lacks a clear overview of the main trends. The report is essentially a list of figures rather than a cohesive summary. To improve, you must omit personal commentary and focus entirely on identifying key features, such as the overall higher participation rates of women in most age groups compared to men. The response does not adequately highlight the main trends or make meaningful comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks logical progression. The introduction is disconnected from the body paragraphs, and the transition between age groups is mechanical and repetitive. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; for example, the use of 'Firstly know about them' is unnatural. Paragraphing is present but does not effectively group the information in a logical way. To improve, use linking words such as 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' to connect your observations and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping age brackets where men are more active versus those where women are more active.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent spelling errors such as 'nessaccery' instead of 'necessary' and 'preciously' instead of 'precisely'. The phrasing is often awkward, such as 'women have preciously better then men' and 'very lower'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends or data points effectively. To improve, focus on learning specific collocations for describing charts, such as 'a significant proportion,' 'a downward trend,' or 'remained relatively stable.' Avoid informal language and ensure you use precise terminology when discussing percentages and age groups.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('women was more active'), incorrect word order, and misuse of prepositions. The sentence structures are simple and often fragmented. There is very little evidence of complex sentence structures. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree. Practice using comparative structures correctly (e.g., 'higher than' instead of 'more then') and work on consistent tense usage when describing data from a past year.

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